What's on the teevy

I'm not watching a whole lot of TV any more. Having BeyondTV lets us record selected shows and watch 'em later, whether it's later that night, later in the week, or much later when the hard drive is nearly full. The only thing we seem to watch live any more is the news before bed. TV used to be a big part of my life as a bachelor, but now that I'm working later hours and me 'n my lady have Better Things To Do a lot of the time, the ol' Radiation King has taken on a smaller role.

So, just the for the helluvit, here's what's on the regularly recorded viewing schedule lately:

• Jeopardy. Every weeknight. Except Wednesdays, when CTV pre-empts it for more "important" programming which we don't happen to watch.
• CSI: Original Flavour. Kinda like Law & Order, but with science nerds in place of wiseass cops. This show must have been on forever, since I keep seeing new episodes I've never seen.
• Law & Order: SVU, known around the house as "Perv Squad." Used to be a great show with the Law & Order template of spending the first half chasing the bad guys, second half prosecuting the bad guys, sometimes to mixed results. But more often than not, I'm shaking my fist at the screen as the show insults my intelligence or goes off in crazy directions. I want the cops to be smarter than me. I want the detectives to cleverly find the bad guys and catch 'em and prosecute them. But more often than not, they're flummoxed, and turn to the in-house computer nerd who says "oh, I have a new gadget that'll find the guy..." and then they go off like the A-Team and try to set up a zany sting, which ends up going wrong, and... I dunno, it's just gone crappy.
• My Name Is Earl. Best new comedy of the year. Lovin' it, but ... but ... do you know what stars Jason Lee and Ethan Suplee have in common, along with guest stars Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Swayze and Juliette Lewis? Can ya guess? Does it matter, as long as it's a good show?
• Supernanny. British woman Jo "Jo-Jo" Frost intervenes in a home full of rotten, out-of-control kids and restores order and sanity. Delightful to see how some simple, consistently-applied parenting skills can bring the kids in order without the use of powerful drugs or chicken-wire.
• Til Debt Do Us Part (Life Network). Makes us realize how well we're doing with the money. Kind of like Supernanny as an accountant.
• X-Weighted (Life Network). Cameras follow overweight folks over a six-month span as they use diet, exercise, psychology and a "self-esteem expert" (local hairstylist 'Fred') to attempt to change their life and looks. No prize, no competition. Just a focused, humane and personal look at trying to go from fat to fit. Everyone has slightly different challenges to face. The cool part is, most of the episodes so far have been shot in Halifax, so we get to pause and say "Hey, that's our apartment building!" or "Hey, let's try that restaurant!" or "Hey, how's a hairdresser considered a Self-Esteem Expert?"
• The Ultimate Fighter. I haven't watched wrestling regularly for a long time, it seems. A reality show in which contestants battle for a contract with the Ultimate Fighting Championship. I watch this alone.
• Trailer Park Boys. Shot in nearby Cole Harbour, this show is an even bigger hoot now that we're getting some of the local references. Problem is, the current season has been decidedly unfunny. They've gone from shooting the show in the style of Cops to shooting the show in the style of a college film. Perhaps it's to transition us toward the upcoming TPB movie, but I ain't diggin' it. Such a shame.
• Kenny vs. Spenny. The mean, crafty and funny friend vs. the sweet, gullible and neurotic friend in a series of sophomoric competitions. Was being pushed heavily on Showcase, but it looks like originator CBC has reclaimed it.
• Family Guy had a rough start this season, but the one from a couple weeks ago was freakin' hilarious.
• The Simpsons has been flat. I find myself letting it sit in the Recorded Shows for a week or two before watching it. Sad.
• Sunday's highlight is America's Funniest Home Videos. This is where the HTPC gets the biggest workout -- both for replaying the funny parts, and skipping past the introductions.
• Cops is back on the agenda now that the Leafs are done for the season.
• The Daily Show is routinely recorded, though with TV viewing time cut way down, it often doesn't get watched. Am I slacking off, or have I only seen Lewis Black once so far this year?
• Amanda tapes ER, America's Next Top Model and Felicity reruns. (Trivia: Did you know that the Pink Ranger from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers wrote the theme to Felicity?) I can't comment on those, since I don't watch 'em. She's big on Grey's Anatomy, though. Season finale comes tonight, I think.
• Shows I've never seen: Lost, Desperate Housewives, American Idol, Canadian Idol, The West Wing, Deal or No Deal, Prison Break, House, 24, Survivor beyond season one, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, or CSI: Clearwater.

May the episodes of your life be compelling and full of the sort of drama that can be concluded in 22 minutes of action and hilarity.