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Meh. Extended Meh.

I haven't posted here in quite a while. There are a few things I haven't done in quite a while. For a while, I've been kind of meh.

In late August, Gordon and I went for the long-awaited trip to Nova Scotia. It was an epic journey, three years in the making. We visited places he'd only heard about. We spent time with friends he hadn't seen in more than a year. We took Amanda's ashes back to the ocean as she requested.

Gordon leaping rocks at Peggys Cove, NS. Click to embiggen.

We were there for a week and were on the move almost every day. We put 1000 km on the rental car in between flying there and flying back.

It was excellent, but it was also exhausting. And I found myself different in the weeks after.

Before, I was going out. I was being social. I was busy and optimistic.

After, I seemed to drop contact with almost everyone. I thought I was just tired, then I thought I'd shifted into some different gear of creativity or contemplation. But the months have worn on and I'm still not quite back to where I was. I'm meh.

But it's not a deep, dark, miserable meh. It's just a little too alone and overwhelming for my liking. I'm working on it. I haven't been 100% unproductive -- stuff is still getting done. Gordon started school in the fall, for example, and has been doing great. I'm still a passable success at grown-up living, but I know I'm not doing an A+ job in some areas.

I just wanted to make a little appearance on my own blog and say Gordon's doing great, and I'm kind of meh.

I've also been working on another project. I hope to reveal this in the coming days. It will be a call to action to people who knew Amanda. Stay tuned.

Comments

  1. It's good to see that you are still moving forward after your lose. I feel for you and your son, it is not easy to live one your loved ones are gone. I hope you find your peace!

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