Skip to main content

Translatable obsessiveness, part 2

Here are two thoughts about how the personality quirks I noted in part 1 may be standing in my way.

First, I'm about learning and knowing. I learn and learn and learn. I gather information and re-read the same stuff in endless permutations, jumping from basics to advanced to way-beyond-my-comprehension, back to advanced, back to basic and over and over until I either thoroughly get it and get it completely ... or I reach the ceiling of my comprehension and just let it be.

But I don't have a consistently great record for taking action with that knowledge. Sure, I knew a lot about computers -- but did I build a good web site? No, I build an okay web site and let it sit. Sure, I learned a lot about Scientology -- but did I do anything significant to stop them? No, I told everyone I knew the evils of Scientology and chatted with folks at the Toronto Org a few times. Sure, I read a ton about money management -- but did I get rich? No, not yet. I'm building a sizeable cache of shares and I have a decent retirement portfolio on the build, and I'll be in decent shape for wealth management in the years to come, but I'm not a big wheeler and dealer.

I learn a lot -- I know a lot -- I get really really smart -- but I don't always *do* stuff with it.

Second, I noted the transitive nature of my obsessions. Even when I dive in and start off strong with something, I have a tendency to let it trail off as time goes on. Even my taekwondo, which I've really enjoyed since starting a year and a half ago. I've only gone once since they moved the gym a few weeks ago. That's not cool.

That's not to say that I have a terrible track record when it comes to making stable, positive changes in my life. This isn't the forum to talk about all of 'em, but I've tackled several challenges head-on and stuck with them. Some of them have been difficult and without immediate visible gain. I know I have what it takes to do what's hard and what's right and make it go. Especially when other people are at stake.

So, that takes me back to where I was in the first post. I have the tools -- what's stopped me from applying them to smoking and fatness?

More to come.

Comments

  1. Ah yes, read this blog http://www.blogickal.com/... You are not alone my friend! And changes can be made, no problem. The work can be done!
    Nay!
    IT SHALL BE DONE!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gordon turns four and has questions

Gordon wanted to know where mommy went.

Not what happened to her body, but where SHE went.

We celebrated his fourth birthday this weekend with three gatherings. One at our house with his little friends. One at nana and grampa's house. One in Stratford with the Simpson clan.


The big party for the kids was a success. I'd never planned such an event. Thank goodness for the Internet, where I found a Martha Stewart article that laid out the basics. And thank goodness for Party City, which had a ton of Transformers party stuff ready to buy. I wasn't feeling well, but managed to pull it off. Thanks to sister Shannon and SIL Amy for being the Designated Adults who helped in wrangling and last-minute logistics. G thought the whole event was kind of loud, but he really enjoyed it. And I feel like a winner for making it happen -- some of the other parents even chimed in that they now know what goes into a kid's party, since they were as clueless as me! Great!

Great time at nana&#…

Hard to believe it's been a year - but it has

One year ago today, we lost Amanda.

Time plays tricks on all of us. We can think "that was so long ago" at the same time as "it feels like yesterday." I run into this all the time with Amanda's death.

Yes, it feels like just yesterday, or last night, or later today, that Amanda collapsed in the kitchen and died after that long, brutal battle with ovarian cancer. But every day has ticked by at a pace like any other, and it's been a whole year of those days, with incremental and sometimes revolutionary change.

As I move about our home, it's hard to fathom that she's been gone a whole year.

Many of the decorative items she carefully arranged throughout the house are in the exact same place as the last time she touched them. She had the vision, not me, so I've been reluctant to disturb her decisions on what looks good and works.

In other places, I'm reminded that it's been at least a year since something's been in place. Like the fully-s…

She went in to have our baby and came out with a cancer diagnosis

It's been two weeks since my wife and I welcomed our son Gordon into the world. It's also been two weeks since we found out Amanda has cancer.

We went into the IWK on Tuesday, April 2nd for a Cesarean section prompted by an ultrasound earlier in the pregnancy that showed the placenta dangerously close to the cervix. Too close and she could bleed to death during delivery. An ultrasound closer to the due date showed the placenta in a slightly safer place, but now blood vessels were blocking the way out. An emergency C-section was in order.

So we went in, three weeks early. The delivery went smoothly. Our baby Gordon was frank breech, pulled out buttocks-first. I went over and cut the cord. I brought our first child back to Amanda to let her see. It was better than I'd expected!

Then the surgeon started talking about finding bumps. Instead of stitching her up, the team was finding trouble inside her.

They had to page the oncologist. I went into shock, sweating and heaving on t…