Skip to main content

Stuff I'm learning from Google Analytics

A few months ago, I signed to set up Google Analytics for bigasssuperstar.com. It uses a little embedded tag in the web pages to keep track of web traffic in more depth than my usual log analysis would show. It's free and pretty cool. But it's teaching me stuff I didn't know about my traffic.

In the past month, for example, Google Analytics tells me:

  • I had two visits from Iceland
  • 100 from Brazil
  • One each from Zambia and Botswana
  • 40 from Russia
  • 66 from Saudia Arabia ... 40 from Iran ... only two from Syria
  • Two from Khazakstan (wa wa wee wa!)
  • 4,334 absolute unique visitors. Seriously?
  • 18 viewed on their Playstation Portable, 4 on the PS3, 3 on the wii
  • 79% of visitors use Internet Explorer, 16% use Firefox, with Safari, Opera and PSP following
  • 86% arrive from search engines, mostly Google. 7.5% come directly. 6.77% show up through referring sites.
  • Most popular search key words are "big ass" (67%), "bigass", "ass big" and "big ass adventures"
  • Only 4% of visitors indicate they still use dial-up

Now ... more than four thousand visitors? Granted, most of you are looking for big ass. Big ass videos, big ass adventures, big ass small waist, whatever. I'm clearly getting most of my traffic from folks looking for large behinds. Sure, they find it, but unless they're looking for "hairy big ass" or "sweaty big ass" or "maritime big ass eating pizza and cheeseburgers and sometimes donairs", I'm probably not the big ass they're looking for.

Still -- you big ass hunters -- drop a note, huh? Fine, you speak Greek or Italian or French -- or Estonian, a lot of you. "Suur Eesel üli-täht!" Write some comments. Send an email. Show yourselves, dammit! I feel like people are calling me up night and day and not even saying "oops, wrong number!" before hanging up.

Comments

  1. My old bloggerer thingamabob used to tell me how many people were popping in each day/week/month, and what they were lookin' for. It was kind of unnerving. It helped teach me that at the time, I was the number one search result for "eggplant sofa" and "I put my teflon pans in the dishwasher."

    I think sometimes, it's best not to know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I tried to Google "Big ass, and with all your hits--heck you came up at the top of PAGE TWO - out of 41,700,000 hits that this search found. Impressive!!

    Mind you, many of these other optional sites have a more "pithy" content than your site. In my humble opinion anyway.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gordon turns four and has questions

Gordon wanted to know where mommy went.

Not what happened to her body, but where SHE went.

We celebrated his fourth birthday this weekend with three gatherings. One at our house with his little friends. One at nana and grampa's house. One in Stratford with the Simpson clan.


The big party for the kids was a success. I'd never planned such an event. Thank goodness for the Internet, where I found a Martha Stewart article that laid out the basics. And thank goodness for Party City, which had a ton of Transformers party stuff ready to buy. I wasn't feeling well, but managed to pull it off. Thanks to sister Shannon and SIL Amy for being the Designated Adults who helped in wrangling and last-minute logistics. G thought the whole event was kind of loud, but he really enjoyed it. And I feel like a winner for making it happen -- some of the other parents even chimed in that they now know what goes into a kid's party, since they were as clueless as me! Great!

Great time at nana&#…

The sweet smell of success (the opposite of that)

Let me lock in the system at warp 2 Push it into systematic overdrive - U know what 2 do - Ween, "Poop Ship Destroyer"
Pardon the juvenile humour off the top, but this journey has been so unreal that I can't help but fall back on laughing in the absence of appropriate things to say.

Amanda's headed for another big surgery this week.

Quick recap of how we got here: She went into hospital in late January to have her ovarian cancer tumours taken out. That surgery ended up taking a foot-long chunk of her colon, so they spliced what was left to her nature-given outlet. Well, that blew apart and she went for emergency colostomy surgery. THAT didn't work, either, as illustrated by our guiding light with the scalpel hand and the silver tongue, Dr. Sugimoto:


The business end of the remaining colon sloughed its way back into her insides and strictured itself off, creating a cul-de-sac with no escape for poop nor gas. They put her on TPN (full nutrition by IV) but let her …

Things get much worse as tumours spread fast

Things crawl in the darkness
That imagination spins
Needles at your nerve ends
Crawl like spiders on your skin

Pounding in your temples
And a surge of adrenaline
Every muscle tense —
To fence
The enemy within - Rush, "The Enemy Within"
We don't know how or why, if there is a how or a why, but Amanda's cancer has woken up and is on the move, double-time. Things have become much worse in the time since the last update.

At that point, the docs had found a couple of spots on her ribs that were causing her pain. They zapped it with radiation to give her some relief.

Since then, things have progressed quickly.

Just after the hospital stay when they were trying to get Amanda's pain under control, docs found more bone metastases in her sacrum (large, triangular bone at the base of the spine) and iliac crest (the big wing-like bone on the pelvis where they harvest bone marrow). More radiation. This time, the radiation hasn't knocked the pain down.
Then she had headac…